Change...

Most people don’t like it while some people seem to thrive on it. I’d say I fall somewhere in between. I’ve always been a person who can’t wait for the next thing to happen. Couldn’t wait to be able to drive, go to college, get married, have children, etc. I don’t like to stay in one place for too long. I guess to some degree I enjoy the adventure of change although it doesn’t come without its challenges and sacrifices.

The biggest change I have experienced so far in life was moving to Uganda, Africa. I had never before experienced such loneliness as I did those first 6 months living in Uganda. But God was faithful and brought a wonderful family to serve on my team and become like family to me. Uganda began to feel so much like home that coming back to America seemed scary. Upon my return to the States I moved to Louisville, KY while I took seminary classes and awaited my future husband’s return from Uganda so we could get married. That change seemed even harder at times than moving to Africa. I didn’t know where I fit in and the waiting seemed to last forever at times. After Spencer’s return, we married and continued to live in Louisville for almost a year. Boy was that year different than the first I spent in Louisville! God provided good friends, good jobs, and we really enjoyed the things Louisville had to offer. But we grew uneasy and felt like God was calling us to serve Him by moving to my hometown Henderson, KY to serve in Covenant Baptist Church and be near my family for a little while. While Henderson is technically my ‘home’ it doesn’t really feel like home to me anymore and moving here has once again been a change for us. We’ve gained the support of family, but lost our close friendships we enjoyed. We have flexible jobs that allow us to be involved in serving through the church, but miss our co-workers and the work environments we had in Louisville. We are saving money because there’s not as many things to do around here, but miss the ethnic food we loved to eat in Louisville! :) While we know we are supposed to be here in Henderson it doesn’t make the adjustment easy. However, experiencing God’s faithfulness in the past helps us to deal with the challenges of this change.

Deep down though we long to go back overseas and hopefully after Spencer finishes seminary next year God will allow us to serve Him again in a place where he is not as well known. This longing makes it hard for us to be content where we are. Sometimes we feel as if we are just trying to ‘get through’ so we can get on with our ‘real life’ when we go back overseas. We don’t particularly enjoy our jobs and struggle to have a real sense of purpose in our day-to-day lives. We know this is wrong and want to be content with where we are now and not just content but striving to live our life for the Lord here as we did overseas. I’ve recently been convicted by the song, “The Motions” by Matthew West…

This might hurt, It’s not safe, But I know that I got to make a change, I don’t care if I break, Least I’ll be feeling something, Because just okay, is not enough, Help me fight through the nothingness of this life,

I don’t want to go through the motions, I don’t want to go one more day, Without Your all consuming, Passion inside of me, I don’t want to spend my whole life askin’, What if I had given everything? Instead of going through the motions?

God wants us to serve Him even in the mundane of life, even when we wish we could be somewhere else, even when we wish we had something we don’t, even when we’re depressed or hurting, and even when life is everything we’ve ever wanted it to be. He doesn’t want us to just go through the motions of life waiting for ‘the next thing’ hoping it will be better…after all we are only given today so we must give it our all letting the Source of our life shine for all to see.